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How to Chat
by Colleen Butler
In what resembles a scene from a sci-fi movie, people are chatting
and dating in virtual rooms across the world. Chat rooms are
everywhere and offer something for everyone.
Getting Started
Before embarking on your chat adventure, you should familiarize
yourself with the concept of chat. Chat is quite different from
email: it takes place in real-time. Once you type a message,
everyone in the chat session views your words almost instantly.
Chatting in real-time enhances the chat experience by creating a
conversational atmosphere.
You must have Internet access to chat. Online service providers
offer a variety of services such as newsgroups, bulletin boards,
and chats. Just click on the chat icon to get started.
When choosing your username or anonymous handle, use anonymity
to your benefit and select a name that reflects your
personality.
For safety purposes, never reveal your real name, location, or
telephone number.
There are two types of chat: group and private. Group chats are
virtual rooms filled with people hosting various discussions at
the same time. Private chats are virtual rooms created by users
who wish to host their chats in a more intimate setting. Both
are public forums.
To create a comfortable environment and enhance your chatting
experience, familiarize yourself with chat guidelines,
etiquette, or tips.
Before you begin to chat, take a moment to view the
conversations and get a feel for the atmosphere in the room.
Introduce yourself and greet everyone in the room. A simple
Hello Everyone" is a great way to start.
Improving Chat Skills
Chat environments offer lively and entertaining exchanges for
everyone who participates. Like anything else, chatting requires a
little time and practice to fully enjoy the experience.
Locate the chat schedule and discover what type of chatting
activities are available. Most chat schedules are filled with
celebrity hosts and offer a variety of topics.
Moderated chat: Celebrity chats are an exciting way to learn the
latest information or hobnob with the stars. Because they tend
to draw a crowd, a moderated forum is used. Simply submit your
question and a moderator will forward your question to the host.
If your question is accepted, the host will reply.
Always keep on topic when attending a celebrity chat.
Be aware of the impression you make in a chat room. Sarcasm and
well-intentioned criticisms lose their place in the chat
environment.
Don't gossip. It seldom casts a flattering light upon you.
Use chat rooms and tools to your advantage. "Ignore" anyone who
is disruptive.
Expression is an important part of chat. Familiarize yourself
with emoticons and other chat expressions to look and feel like
a pro.
Chit-chat
Once you become comfortable with chatting, you will encounter new
people and create friendships. Together, you will forge a community
of individuals based on shared interests and life experience. To
enhance your community experience I recommend the following:
Select a certain day, time, and chat room to meet your friends
each week.
Once you establish a group forum, vary the location of your
meetings to allow others to participate.
Host your own chat events.
Create a friendly list serve or newsletter to remind your
community members of any new information.
Realize that trust and commitment are key components to any
community and that they both take time to develop.
Find someone to talk to at oneandonly.com !
Mix 'n Match Copyright (c) 1999 Match.Com Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Love's Ever-Changing Face
by Curt Degenhart
Anyone who's ever had a brush with the thing called love knows that this feeling so desired is also tough
to pin down. There are so many kinds. We've got lusty love, companionate love, fraternal love, the kind
of love you have for your grandparents, thrilling love, young love, self love, and love mixed in with a lot of
pain-and many more. How can we survive a relationship with all these different forms of love floating
around? If you can't survive the change, you'd better learn, since relationships are filled with love that's
ever-changing.
Love's Frontier
You start out a relationship with tons of passionate love, with lots of lust mixed in. New love feels like
you're climbing a mountain-thrilling, with lots of new territory to explore with every step. As the
relationship endures (if you're lucky enough to have it endure) you'll begin to grow to know each other
more deeply. Then love deepens, too, broadening into a 'best-friend' and companion-style love. No doubt
the lusty, new love is still there, but starts to get filled out by these other feelings.
It's when love starts to change form that some people can't cope; they sense the shift as a loss of
passion. They sense a reduction in passion, which to them means that something's wrong with the
relationship. But it doesn't have to be that way.
When you feel yourself moving over into the companionate sort of love, just relax. It's not easy, but try to
let the relationship exist at its level. It takes some getting used to but as you may soon find you enjoy
it, too. This phase I have affectionately termed The Plains of Kansas. On the Plains, you are definitely
no longer in the mountains of love/lust, with all that unexplored, exciting territory, where each step takes
you around a new corner, over a new rock. But The Plains of Kansas have their own charms and
benefits-you'll just have to look a litter harder for what's interesting there, see a little farther. You're in a
place that seems to go on forever, with no apparent markers or change in landscape. But if you pay
attention to the details, you'll find plenty to keep you interested.
Dizzying Love
Of course, the thrill of falling in love has its ups and downs two. As love swells up then changes in a
relationship, so does your sanity level-or so it seems. On the first date, maybe you feel some of your
senses slipping away, "melting into her eyes." After a month you may think, "I don't feel right when
we're apart." But you never had that problem before. And of course, it doesn't feel like too serious a
problem to have. It is part of the thrill of love.
Let's face it. Partners complicate our lives. First, we're driven nearly crazy with the heady rush to love.
Our friends will wonder what's happened to us. Then, after a few more dates, a few more weeks, both
men and women wonder neurotically, often desperately:"What if she doesn't like me as much as I like
her?"... "Am I being used?"... "Is he going to pull away just when I'm falling in love?"... "How much will a
breakup hurt me?" Not pleasant thoughts. But we've all experienced them at least momentarily as we
embark down the road to coupledom.
Love can get even more complicated the longer you're in it. For instance, lovers tend to know more than
anyone about our weaknesses and our strengths, our dreams and our worries. We allow them in and
give them Knowledge. It takes a while-at least a few months-for this Knowledge to build up. But it will.
Be happy that Knowledge can be used for good, to build us up and make us feel stronger, more secure,
and happier. But partners also use Knowledge against us, leaving us feeling vulnerable, sometimes
abused. Being prepared for just how many "buttons" are going to get pushed is important to keeping the
relationship going strong even during tough times. And all this happens because of love.
So take love, in all its forms, and embrace it. At least try. Don't get scared when you first start to
realize
that "some of the passion is gone," after the first month, or after the first year. Right around the corner is
another kind of love that brings its own rewards.
Mix 'n Match Copyright (c) 1999 OneandOnly.com Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Find the love you want at OneandOnly.com.
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